| Nothing important. |
[ | |
3/19/07 - 9:39 pm
| | ] |
Wow. I don't even know.
I used to record every waking moment of my life.
I've had a journal now since 7th grade, and when I was using I would post every 15 minutes, at least that.
I guess you don't really notice how much you change and grow as a person until you read something that is in what used to be your perspective.
My writings and thoughts from those years were so crazy. And unhealthy. Half the time they didn't make any sense, and were simply a pitiful cry for help.
I'd like to think I've come a long way and changed and blah blah blah, but I haven't.
I'm exactly the same weak and insane person I was then. I'm impatient, envious, gossipy (for lack of a better word), have a total lack of control of my anger, untrustworthy, irresponsible, and just... the same horrible person I promised I would not be today...
I've said so many times I need to change, I'm going to change, This is how I'm going to change, I've made a plan, blah blah blah. Well if they worked, and I was as dedicated as I had been the first week or so, I wouldn't be here today complaining once again about myself.
Currently I am trying to drop my first period class, plan a pep assembly, SLAM week, a dance, the WASL, homework, PASS MATH, and hold back from the temptation to just off myself.
I just really need something new. I need help before I lose myself once more.
|
|
|
[ | |
11/12/06 - 10:27 pm
| | ] |
second in state...
highest state placing for any ballard swim team
EVER.
|
|
My faith, and heritage, play a major role in my life. They work together, hand in hand. I don't drink, I don't swear often, I have self-respect, I pity those who don't, I despise smoking and see it as a sign of weakness and lack of hope.